just like the 2nd kid ...

... to get the shaft, and not get a formal "announcement" in the blogosphere.

Yeah, we're pregnant. As of today, I'm about 21 weeks. :) I suppose that I hinted at it several entries ago, buuuuut ... I also haven't blogged in a good long spell either. Everyone on facebook knows! But yes, my apologies, little one. I too was my mama's second, so I should be more sensitive to the shaft that those born after the first tend to get, but for now, I'll just commiserate with you. I've been there. You're in good company. :)

Baby is due around 5/25 - sometime at the end of May, as the actual date keeps fluctuating a bit depending on the day of ultrasound. And I have had a number of those, due to our complications from last time. Thankfully though, everything looks *quite* normal this time. And today we got our first indication that baby may be a big one. At this point, my midwife said it must have had a little spurt because it was 14 oz. Babycenter.com says that belly fruit is normally 11-12 oz or so at this point. Yowza! Way to grow, baby. And, um, lay off the holiday eats, mama. ;)


To make my neglectfulness up to you, little one, I will now smatter your u/s images all over the internets. You're very welcome.

6 weeks - ain't nothin' but a blip thang, bay-by!

9 weeks - more like a peanut now



11 weeks - a lovely profile




13 weeks ... big stuff!

... And today, 1/13, at 21 weeks and about 14 oz! Bruiser!

We've had our nerves, for sure, but we're very excited. I have been feeling good - tired, but good. I blame the tired on the toddler. :) Blessings abound!

** Oh, and I'm not being an elusive jerk - we didn't find out the gender! We'll find out when babe makes it's debut in 18-19 weeks!

I seem to be cursed...

... with self-destructive, shoot-myself-in-the-foot syndrome.

It has been a challenging semester, but so far, a pretty good one. Then why is it, with the end so clearly in sight (2 remaining Thursdays of class, one being tomorrow) that I am hell-bent on going down like a chump?? The end is so close ... but I have managed to lose all ability to make myself sit down and get work done. Instead, I nap. Or cook. Or play Word Twist 617x in a row. Or nap. Did I mention I'm a big fan of the nap these days?

Left on my plate are:
- my final Ethics short paper (3 pgs, due tomorrow ... how much do I have done? None.)
- my big Helping Relationships paper (8 pgs, due next week, not even started... so embarrassed!)
- human development final quiz (to be taken tomorrow, have not yet studied...)
- Fowler's "stage 2 of faith" chapter synopsis (due next week, still must read chapter, still must fashion entire synopsis)
- in-class Ethics presentation w/ partner (to be presented next week, actually feel OK about this as we've been working on it for the last couple of weeks. We're close.)

And that's it. Shouldn't be such a challenge to get my butt in gear, but... it is. What is my darn problem?? I wish I knew. I want to work on Christmas cards, I want to decorate our apartment, I was to finish up some Christmas shopping, buuut ... all those things need to wait until I am done with this list of work.

So close, so close... ok, I have to stop blogging. I am stinkin' ridiculous. WORK, DAMMIT.

a sweet pastor's wife can only take so much...

I wish I could blame hormones and just UNLEASH my mouth in a foul-mouthed rage.

I wish I didn't hold such high standards for myself and could be a right-out ass and just tell some of these fools off. Darn faith, I take it's expectations of how I live pretty seriously...

I wish it wouldn't reflect on Tim negatively if I actually did take one of these aforementioned fools aside and tell them where to go and how to get there. (It would, of course, which my dear sweet husband does NOT need.)

I wish I could have a voice as a member of a congregation. Trust me, it would take a pretty special congregation to let a pastor's spouse have a voice and realize it did not equal their pastor.

I wish people would stop making it their goal to complain constantly to my husband. These are people who very often do nothing to help out around the church or do anything for the next generation of members, but they are there ... and they ALWAYS have a negative complaint on their lips. They never have anything good to say, and they never offer any real solutions. They just DUMP. (Fitting.)

I wish people would be part of the solution instead of part of the problem. Give it a try some time, a-holes, you might find you like it!

I wish I could really just shrug things off. You know, not care. To a point, I can ... but these offenders ... these *repeat* offenders ... make it so close to impossible. My blood pressure spikes when I encounter them. My skin will never be that thick and in a church (of all places) I don't think it should have to be...

I wish people would hold themselves up to a higher standard. Perhaps - inspired by their faith in a compassionate and loving God - they would actually practice grace and forgiveness and occasionally decide to take the high road. Occasionally pick their battles. Occasionally shut their damn mouths.

And lastly - for now - I wish I could be more forgiving and diplomatic. Luckily, I usually I am. Or at least I know when I need to walk away. But I also need this journal to be a safe place for me to dump and let off some of the steam.




(Pretty sad how these tags often go together for me.)

standing in the need of prayer...

Right now, we could really just benefit from your prayers.

More details to come (probably). Thank you!

good news/bad news

The good news is ... all of our stuff is out of Trappe and that dwelling is nice and clean. Not a professional job, but as good as I can do.

The bad news is ... we still have half of it in our cars and the other half of it has not a found a home (yet?) in our new apartment. We are living out of our cars and in a pigsty. Classy. My car is never pristine, but this is ridiculous.

It's stressful. I fancy myself someone who can live pretty simply and not sweat the small stuff, but right now it all feels kind of daunting and big. When we decided to live in this apartment, I didn't think it was that small. But now, the daunting truth is that it is.

I am home with Maggie so I feel like I should be able to have this all whipped into shape by now. But it is slooooooow. So very slow. Maggie is 2 and busy and doesn't love to see Mommy put things up and out of her reach. I try to do some homework and reading while Maggie sleeps.

Alas. A few more boxes were broken down today so that may be our little triumph.

The good news is ... I get a little "break" tomorrow (from this mess, from tripping over boxes and searching for space where this is none) with a full day of classes. Hee hee - a "break." So to speak. Ah well, in a sense, it is still kind of "me" time since it is something that is focused on my future and very important to me.

The bad news is ... I don't feel ready for school. The semester is rushing onward at a furious pace and I want it to stay in that "first day of class" mentality where nothing is really expected yet. My papers are done. My reading isn't. I can't find which chapter I was assigned for my Human Development class. It makes me feel all disorganized and dumb.

Alas. I suppose I will survive not being fully prepared though.

(Might have a little time to do some reading between classes.)

After my full day, we're planning a little getaway to Allentown to hang with Tim's sister, Amy and her husband and her baby girl for the first part of our weekend. It should be nice. They're taking Maggie's crib for storage/use since we definitely don't have room for that anywhere. We thought they might be able to take the couch too, but we're back to not having a place for the couch to go (not that it was ever guaranteed, but we were feeling optimistic).

Anyone want a couch? Has a nice hide-a-bed.

Oh yeah - and Maggie is still up for no good reason at all. This is not the norm at all. There is not much good news in that. I pray she won't be a beast for Tim and Miss Julie tomorrow. I hope (so tentative, I don't even want to say it) that she is quieting down. We shall see.

Anyway, I am very rambly. It's late and I have to be up early for my "break." Sadly, thus far, I never get enough sleep in this new place due to the morning traffic noise.

hopeful

I am really not sure than anyone reads this blog except for me, but... let's say that I am feeling hopeful. A little overwhelmed, but hopeful. Nothing in life is guaranteed - in fact, maybe that's the only thing we can be sure of - but I am thankful for people, for life, for potential. I try to be a positive person, but I am probably a tad more on the even-keeled and realistic side. I know misfortunes happen, and I know things don't always turn out the way we hope - and sometimes there's no good reason why. But I still see a silver lining ... and am wishing for the best.

Thank you God, for all my blessings. Thank you.

oh baby girl...

Dear dear Magdalena girl ...

You nearly gave your mama a heart attack this morning when you ran away from my side at the car and almost directly into the path of a car. Thank the Lord they saw you, thank the Lord they could stop, thank the Lord I caught you ... but child ... I was crying and yelling and losing my damn mind because it was probably the scariest moment of my life. I am sorry if I scared you, but... you are precious to me. Listen to your mama! I don't yell at you all day and all night - please recognize that when I yell, it is because I need you to listen to me. I was shaking like mad and almost sick that you'd managed to get THAT far from me THAT quickly. You are my life, little girl, and as vigilant as I try to be ... oh, I wish you had some more common sense. I'm not willing you grow up way too fast (you already are), but you could truly stand more than a toddler's dose of reasoning skills.

I love you I love you I love you. More than you could know...

Mama