Wow, I definitely need to update this thing, but life has been a whirlwind of busyness and life changes for the last month or so ...
First and foremost - we have a son! Soren James joined us on June 9, a good 11 or so days after his latest estimated due date. It took going to the hospital and having my water broken (even that proved a little tricky due to how he was positioned), but 5 hours later ... we had an 8lb 12oz boy!
Two weeks after his birth, Soren took his first plane ride to Cleveland, Ohio where my dad got married to his fiance, Linda! It was a wonderful and blessed event and a great chance for everyone to meet our little guy. They honeymooned on Mackinac Island and traveled around northern Michigan afterwards. We saw friends and family from all around and Maggie enjoyed lots of pool time with her cousins. Wish we could get back to MI this summer, but it's not looking very likely...
A little over a week later (as we packed frantically), we made the big push and moved to Catonsville, MD! The church sent people to our place in Easton and greeted us with about a million more and they moved us into our beautiful townhouse. Tim hit the ground running at Salem - in fact, this week he is off at confirmation camp - and people have been wonderfully nice, welcoming and supportive. I made several trips back to the eastern shore for moving odds and ends, cleaning, and pediatrician appointments, but now... we're pretty much settled in. Yeah there are a few boxes that still need to be finished, but we're close.
I know, I know ... it's a speedy update for a speedy last month or so. Soren is 7 weeks old today and a totally sweet guy. Going thru a bit of a fussy stage (for him), but I also understand this is a common time for growth spurts. He sleeps well, eats well, is growing like a weed ... we are blessed. I am also registered for fall classes (just 2 this time around ... statistics and career development) and one of my next projects is to find child care for him and Maggie on Wednesdays.
It's a wild wild time... I guess the really big stuff is done, but I'm still hanging on for dear life... :)
Showing posts with label transitions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label transitions. Show all posts
7.28.2011
2.02.2011
discerning...
There are gut feelings, there are pros and cons lists, there are steps made out in faith...
But I find myself asking time and time again, how do you really discern the big things in life? The bold moves? The big decisions?
I guess this would imply that there are right decisions and wrong decisions. Perhaps it isn't really that simple; perhaps we have the opportunity to do good no matter where we do it or no matter how we choose to do it. You know, blooming where we're planted.
But somehow, when big decisions loom, I get into this mentality of there being one right decision and one wrong decision. I think ... maybe... that I don't want to end up swept up in the process of life happening and completely feel I have no say in the end results ... I want a *say* in the process! I want to be *intentional*! I want to choose my own adventure (loved those books as a kid) ...
Which again, conjures up images of pros/cons lists. Or just *knowing* in your gut that one thing is the right thing and going boldly in that direction, never looking back...
But life rarely seems to be that simple.
I want to find ways to get more in touch with that inner voice, that gut feeling, that truth.
It would make discerning a lot easier.
But discerning has to do with the wait. Not waiting passively, I remember reading in When the Heart Waits (by Sue Monk Kidd), but waiting actively. With open ears and an open heart ... dwelling in the unknown, asking for directions and looking for those signs of where God is leading. Of course, we wait actively, but there isn't a prescribed list of how to do it - which I so desire sometimes!
Maybe I should get that book off my shelf again. It was a good one.
For now, though, I wait. For revelation, for signs, for feelings, for direction, for clarity ... and maybe even to be caught up in life a little bit ... and then to just *know*.
Bloom where I'm planted ... I'm working on it. :)
But I find myself asking time and time again, how do you really discern the big things in life? The bold moves? The big decisions?
I guess this would imply that there are right decisions and wrong decisions. Perhaps it isn't really that simple; perhaps we have the opportunity to do good no matter where we do it or no matter how we choose to do it. You know, blooming where we're planted.
But somehow, when big decisions loom, I get into this mentality of there being one right decision and one wrong decision. I think ... maybe... that I don't want to end up swept up in the process of life happening and completely feel I have no say in the end results ... I want a *say* in the process! I want to be *intentional*! I want to choose my own adventure (loved those books as a kid) ...
Which again, conjures up images of pros/cons lists. Or just *knowing* in your gut that one thing is the right thing and going boldly in that direction, never looking back...
But life rarely seems to be that simple.
I want to find ways to get more in touch with that inner voice, that gut feeling, that truth.
It would make discerning a lot easier.
But discerning has to do with the wait. Not waiting passively, I remember reading in When the Heart Waits (by Sue Monk Kidd), but waiting actively. With open ears and an open heart ... dwelling in the unknown, asking for directions and looking for those signs of where God is leading. Of course, we wait actively, but there isn't a prescribed list of how to do it - which I so desire sometimes!
Maybe I should get that book off my shelf again. It was a good one.
For now, though, I wait. For revelation, for signs, for feelings, for direction, for clarity ... and maybe even to be caught up in life a little bit ... and then to just *know*.
Bloom where I'm planted ... I'm working on it. :)
10.03.2010
standing in the need of prayer...
Right now, we could really just benefit from your prayers.
More details to come (probably). Thank you!
More details to come (probably). Thank you!
9.18.2010
settling in...
I'm still overwhelmed with the semester ahead (but at least I have a little more idea of what to expect), the new place is still a mess (but it's slowly taking shape) and life is marching forward at something a dizzying pace!
The new place ... is in a great location. We can walk to the coffee shop, farmer's market, church, Hispanic market, the utility company, the bank, the post office, park (though it's a bit further) ... it's sweet. I get a little happy buzz being able to walk around town with Maggs and Tim.
It's also significantly noisier than living way out in the no-man's land of rural (and wealthy) Trappe. I mean, Easton is a small town ... but big old trucks and buses and fire engines barrel through our intersection all day and all night! I'm sleeping a little better as time goes by, but it's going to take time to get used it. Maggie loves the bus sightings (she waves to the drivers!) and always brings up the "sarans" (sirens). (She says, "Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Again!")
The new place is also... small. We certainly don't need all the space we had in Trappe, but well, we got accustomed to it. We got accustomed to big closets and options for how to arrange things. Here - we've rearranged things a couple times so far because, well, many ways just don't work! But we're working on figuring that out. Being an older building, it's narrow and quirky. I love the quirk - definitely - but it causes some hardships. For example, our couch didn't end up fitting up the stairs. So we had to buy a little futon, which I am perched on right now. This also means we need to find a home for our couch, as we just don't plan to ditch this nice couch we bought a mere 2.5 years ago. We still have the storage space, but ... it too lacks room. And there's also still stuff back in Trappe that needs to go somewhere (Maggie's crib, clothes for her as she gets bigger, camping equipment, etc). So there's lots to figure out!
But it will work for us. We'll make it work. The benefits of Tim being able to be close to work - and all of us closer to civilization - are amazing benefits indeed! And I think school will work out, too, though I continue to be nervous about things - my Ethics class especially. But I'd better run - I hear my Gooey girl a'stirring from her nap!
The new place ... is in a great location. We can walk to the coffee shop, farmer's market, church, Hispanic market, the utility company, the bank, the post office, park (though it's a bit further) ... it's sweet. I get a little happy buzz being able to walk around town with Maggs and Tim.
It's also significantly noisier than living way out in the no-man's land of rural (and wealthy) Trappe. I mean, Easton is a small town ... but big old trucks and buses and fire engines barrel through our intersection all day and all night! I'm sleeping a little better as time goes by, but it's going to take time to get used it. Maggie loves the bus sightings (she waves to the drivers!) and always brings up the "sarans" (sirens). (She says, "Wee-ooo! Wee-ooo! Again!")
The new place is also... small. We certainly don't need all the space we had in Trappe, but well, we got accustomed to it. We got accustomed to big closets and options for how to arrange things. Here - we've rearranged things a couple times so far because, well, many ways just don't work! But we're working on figuring that out. Being an older building, it's narrow and quirky. I love the quirk - definitely - but it causes some hardships. For example, our couch didn't end up fitting up the stairs. So we had to buy a little futon, which I am perched on right now. This also means we need to find a home for our couch, as we just don't plan to ditch this nice couch we bought a mere 2.5 years ago. We still have the storage space, but ... it too lacks room. And there's also still stuff back in Trappe that needs to go somewhere (Maggie's crib, clothes for her as she gets bigger, camping equipment, etc). So there's lots to figure out!
But it will work for us. We'll make it work. The benefits of Tim being able to be close to work - and all of us closer to civilization - are amazing benefits indeed! And I think school will work out, too, though I continue to be nervous about things - my Ethics class especially. But I'd better run - I hear my Gooey girl a'stirring from her nap!
9.02.2010
butterflies...
I want to go to bed, but ... I have a nervous tummy ... butterflies.
There is good reason for the butterflies, I suppose. It's not just one thing, but many things:
1) We move a week from tomorrow. Yup, we set the date at the end of August and paid our deposit and first month's rent (pro-rated) and September 10 kind of *sounded* far enough off, but now ... it's a week away. Casa Swank is a mess and rapidly becoming less and less livable as it always tricky to know what you need and what you don't. We also *need* more boxes right now. I'd like to direct some of my nervous energies into packing boxes, but I'm out of them! Grr. Tomorrow I'll pick some more up from Railway. Anyhow, bags of trash are getting filled, bags of donations for Goodwill are piling up, boxes and suitcases are getting filled up ... and I can't find a darn sippy cup or nuk for Maggs. Simply put, it's chaos. We're making good enough progress, but alas, there is still SO much to do!
2) I start classes a week from today. Oh boy, lots of butterflies in this department. I know the big hurdle was going back in January this year, and I did that - yahoo for me ;) - and with a lot of work, I managed to do pretty well. Got, like, my first 4.0 ever ... buuuut, the academic anxiety is kicking in. I catch myself wondering if my first semester was a fluke - maybe all the profs were just being nice to me? This anxiety goes way back and is not all unrealistic/unfounded. I've struggled in school much of my life. So far, I love this program - and I am quite sure I'll continue to, but I just hope I can hack it. I hope I can juggle being mom and being wife and being me and being a student. I know people manage to do this sort of thing all the time, but I am overwhelmed. I pray I will find my flow... and that my classes won't completely kick my ass.
3) I am taking on Tim's stress/anxiety/fears. This is not an accusatory statement, but there is truth in it. I love my husband dearly and as I empathize with the difficulties (occupational, spiritual, emotionally) that he's having, I am finding myself awake at night thinking about all the difficulties (tangible and intangible) that he is dealing with. I don't want him *not* to share what he's dealing with; in fact, I am thankful he shares with me as much as he does. But it is taking it's toll. I love him so much and I want him to feel happy and fulfilled by his work and his call. I want him to feel hopeful. I want to fix the situation (even though that isn't supposed to be my instinct) but it is clearer and clearer that there is no way I can do that. I am so very thankful we all have each other ... but we also need space to heal. But what will bring that healing? What can change? What can't? There are good days but there are also very bad days where it seems like he's given up and has no hope. It's very exhausting...
4) Grappling with changes in my Dad's life. I don't think I actually wrote about it in the summer, as I've been pretty inwardly focused this summer (having lost Clover about 6 weeks ago now), but my Dad and his lady friend of a few months, Linda, have decided to get married. I got to meet her when I was in Michigan earlier this summer, and she's lovely. I approve :) - and I am really very excited that they've decided to take the plunge. But truth be told, it's becoming more real now. Even though I am 11 hrs and 10 hours away (according to Google maps), I am getting emails from Dad talking about moving any remaining stuff out of the house - about meeting her kids/kid's spouses/grandkids and having a big old family get together over Christmas. Aaaand... it's overwhelming. I don't think Dad intends for us to turn into the Brady Bunch or anything, as we're all grown and not living at home anymore (as are her "kids") but it just feels like there's this ... expectation. And I don't know what to expect! I feel like my dad has expectations for what our relationships will be - and who can say what that would be?! I'm not saying there isn't potential for connection, but at this point ... we are all just strangers who have parents who are in love. And that's it. Yeah, we should probably become familiar with who everyone is ... but a big old holiday family get together sounds kind of insane to me right now. I love my dad dearly and want to support him, so getting "on board" with the whole idea is probably my best bet, but ... it still sounds insane. Gulp.
5) Tonight's icing on the damn cake: there is *something* making a damn racket in the laundry room/pantry. We have had critters before ... oh yes, we have. We're out in the country, it's been the dead of winter and our apartment has been a warm spot of refuge for the damn little beasts ... but for the love of all that is good and holy, it's September frickin' 2nd and it is NOT cold so get the hell out of my house! At least have the decency to be a little quieter and not make my skin crawl. I even, like, peeked in there 20 minutes or so ago (before I started this post) and turned the light on ... as if my scary presence would make it/them nervous and they'd pack up their mousie backpacks and leave. Of course, I saw nothing, but with all the damn noise, I half expected to see a chorus of mice having choir practice. Noisy little bastard(s). They need to go the HELL away, but that seems unlikely without our doing some damage to their living situation. GahhhHH!H!!
I think that's basically it. Think I'll have enough to talk about in therapy tomorrow? ;)
There is good reason for the butterflies, I suppose. It's not just one thing, but many things:
1) We move a week from tomorrow. Yup, we set the date at the end of August and paid our deposit and first month's rent (pro-rated) and September 10 kind of *sounded* far enough off, but now ... it's a week away. Casa Swank is a mess and rapidly becoming less and less livable as it always tricky to know what you need and what you don't. We also *need* more boxes right now. I'd like to direct some of my nervous energies into packing boxes, but I'm out of them! Grr. Tomorrow I'll pick some more up from Railway. Anyhow, bags of trash are getting filled, bags of donations for Goodwill are piling up, boxes and suitcases are getting filled up ... and I can't find a darn sippy cup or nuk for Maggs. Simply put, it's chaos. We're making good enough progress, but alas, there is still SO much to do!
2) I start classes a week from today. Oh boy, lots of butterflies in this department. I know the big hurdle was going back in January this year, and I did that - yahoo for me ;) - and with a lot of work, I managed to do pretty well. Got, like, my first 4.0 ever ... buuuut, the academic anxiety is kicking in. I catch myself wondering if my first semester was a fluke - maybe all the profs were just being nice to me? This anxiety goes way back and is not all unrealistic/unfounded. I've struggled in school much of my life. So far, I love this program - and I am quite sure I'll continue to, but I just hope I can hack it. I hope I can juggle being mom and being wife and being me and being a student. I know people manage to do this sort of thing all the time, but I am overwhelmed. I pray I will find my flow... and that my classes won't completely kick my ass.
3) I am taking on Tim's stress/anxiety/fears. This is not an accusatory statement, but there is truth in it. I love my husband dearly and as I empathize with the difficulties (occupational, spiritual, emotionally) that he's having, I am finding myself awake at night thinking about all the difficulties (tangible and intangible) that he is dealing with. I don't want him *not* to share what he's dealing with; in fact, I am thankful he shares with me as much as he does. But it is taking it's toll. I love him so much and I want him to feel happy and fulfilled by his work and his call. I want him to feel hopeful. I want to fix the situation (even though that isn't supposed to be my instinct) but it is clearer and clearer that there is no way I can do that. I am so very thankful we all have each other ... but we also need space to heal. But what will bring that healing? What can change? What can't? There are good days but there are also very bad days where it seems like he's given up and has no hope. It's very exhausting...
4) Grappling with changes in my Dad's life. I don't think I actually wrote about it in the summer, as I've been pretty inwardly focused this summer (having lost Clover about 6 weeks ago now), but my Dad and his lady friend of a few months, Linda, have decided to get married. I got to meet her when I was in Michigan earlier this summer, and she's lovely. I approve :) - and I am really very excited that they've decided to take the plunge. But truth be told, it's becoming more real now. Even though I am 11 hrs and 10 hours away (according to Google maps), I am getting emails from Dad talking about moving any remaining stuff out of the house - about meeting her kids/kid's spouses/grandkids and having a big old family get together over Christmas. Aaaand... it's overwhelming. I don't think Dad intends for us to turn into the Brady Bunch or anything, as we're all grown and not living at home anymore (as are her "kids") but it just feels like there's this ... expectation. And I don't know what to expect! I feel like my dad has expectations for what our relationships will be - and who can say what that would be?! I'm not saying there isn't potential for connection, but at this point ... we are all just strangers who have parents who are in love. And that's it. Yeah, we should probably become familiar with who everyone is ... but a big old holiday family get together sounds kind of insane to me right now. I love my dad dearly and want to support him, so getting "on board" with the whole idea is probably my best bet, but ... it still sounds insane. Gulp.
5) Tonight's icing on the damn cake: there is *something* making a damn racket in the laundry room/pantry. We have had critters before ... oh yes, we have. We're out in the country, it's been the dead of winter and our apartment has been a warm spot of refuge for the damn little beasts ... but for the love of all that is good and holy, it's September frickin' 2nd and it is NOT cold so get the hell out of my house! At least have the decency to be a little quieter and not make my skin crawl. I even, like, peeked in there 20 minutes or so ago (before I started this post) and turned the light on ... as if my scary presence would make it/them nervous and they'd pack up their mousie backpacks and leave. Of course, I saw nothing, but with all the damn noise, I half expected to see a chorus of mice having choir practice. Noisy little bastard(s). They need to go the HELL away, but that seems unlikely without our doing some damage to their living situation. GahhhHH!H!!
I think that's basically it. Think I'll have enough to talk about in therapy tomorrow? ;)
8.28.2010
on the move!
Eek. Double eek!!
We have a move in our imminent future, though we're not quite sure yet when this will all shake down. Yes, we found out yesterday afternoon that our app for an apartment got approved! I'd looked at several places a few weeks prior, then put the brakes on things while we tried to figure out some "life stuff" and then knowing a little more, we resumed looking.
On Tuesday, Maggie and I saw the nicest place yet, though I still wasn't sure it was quite the right place for us. (Reality check: no place may be at this point in our lives.) It's a big beautiful old Victorian mansion that has been restored and split into 5 apartments - and the place we looked at was the 2bed/1bath on the second floor. It's immaculate - and joy of joys for this renter whose been around the block a few times - they spray for bugs quarterly. (You don't realize what a gift that is until... yup, you've had bugs. *shudder*) More than I can say for some landlords, but I digress.... ;) It's within walking distance to just about everything (the church, downtown, farmer's market, the park) and though a smaller than our current dwelling (umm, and as everything is in our "price range"), it may work well for the foreseeable future. It will also require of us some major budgeting, but we knew this day would come ... and now we have to make it work!
Of course, moving into town we will lose some sweet comforts of living at "Casa Swank" ... freakloads of storage/space, yard to run around in, our own laundry, 2 baths and a dishwasher. (Oh my, life without a dishwasher. Sigh.) Living rent-free. (Oh Lordy, I will miss that.) And, well, the peace and serenity of the countryside and all that schtuff. ;) I have appreciated our time here in Trappe immensely and am thankful for the generosity of Bill and Lois, who opened their home to us. It allowed us to figure out what was important to us (renting vs. buying) and really, for me to be home (reasonably comfortably) with Maggie. I hope that with some adjustments to our budgeting and priorities, my being Maggie's full time mom and a full time student can continue.
But I am excited to get back into town ... I think it will help us to have more time together as a family ... do less driving and continue to figure out what our next steps are. In all honesty, there's a lot of uncertainty in our life right now, but we've got each other and now we know where we'll lay our heads in the coming months. Some of that uncertainty includes just how we're going to manage pulling off a move in the coming week(s)! EEK!
We meet with our new landlord early this afternoon to go over the rental agreement and whatnot, so we'll probably figure out the time line for the move then!
We have a move in our imminent future, though we're not quite sure yet when this will all shake down. Yes, we found out yesterday afternoon that our app for an apartment got approved! I'd looked at several places a few weeks prior, then put the brakes on things while we tried to figure out some "life stuff" and then knowing a little more, we resumed looking.
On Tuesday, Maggie and I saw the nicest place yet, though I still wasn't sure it was quite the right place for us. (Reality check: no place may be at this point in our lives.) It's a big beautiful old Victorian mansion that has been restored and split into 5 apartments - and the place we looked at was the 2bed/1bath on the second floor. It's immaculate - and joy of joys for this renter whose been around the block a few times - they spray for bugs quarterly. (You don't realize what a gift that is until... yup, you've had bugs. *shudder*) More than I can say for some landlords, but I digress.... ;) It's within walking distance to just about everything (the church, downtown, farmer's market, the park) and though a smaller than our current dwelling (umm, and as everything is in our "price range"), it may work well for the foreseeable future. It will also require of us some major budgeting, but we knew this day would come ... and now we have to make it work!
Of course, moving into town we will lose some sweet comforts of living at "Casa Swank" ... freakloads of storage/space, yard to run around in, our own laundry, 2 baths and a dishwasher. (Oh my, life without a dishwasher. Sigh.) Living rent-free. (Oh Lordy, I will miss that.) And, well, the peace and serenity of the countryside and all that schtuff. ;) I have appreciated our time here in Trappe immensely and am thankful for the generosity of Bill and Lois, who opened their home to us. It allowed us to figure out what was important to us (renting vs. buying) and really, for me to be home (reasonably comfortably) with Maggie. I hope that with some adjustments to our budgeting and priorities, my being Maggie's full time mom and a full time student can continue.
But I am excited to get back into town ... I think it will help us to have more time together as a family ... do less driving and continue to figure out what our next steps are. In all honesty, there's a lot of uncertainty in our life right now, but we've got each other and now we know where we'll lay our heads in the coming months. Some of that uncertainty includes just how we're going to manage pulling off a move in the coming week(s)! EEK!
We meet with our new landlord early this afternoon to go over the rental agreement and whatnot, so we'll probably figure out the time line for the move then!
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