Wow, I definitely need to update this thing, but life has been a whirlwind of busyness and life changes for the last month or so ...
First and foremost - we have a son! Soren James joined us on June 9, a good 11 or so days after his latest estimated due date. It took going to the hospital and having my water broken (even that proved a little tricky due to how he was positioned), but 5 hours later ... we had an 8lb 12oz boy!
Two weeks after his birth, Soren took his first plane ride to Cleveland, Ohio where my dad got married to his fiance, Linda! It was a wonderful and blessed event and a great chance for everyone to meet our little guy. They honeymooned on Mackinac Island and traveled around northern Michigan afterwards. We saw friends and family from all around and Maggie enjoyed lots of pool time with her cousins. Wish we could get back to MI this summer, but it's not looking very likely...
A little over a week later (as we packed frantically), we made the big push and moved to Catonsville, MD! The church sent people to our place in Easton and greeted us with about a million more and they moved us into our beautiful townhouse. Tim hit the ground running at Salem - in fact, this week he is off at confirmation camp - and people have been wonderfully nice, welcoming and supportive. I made several trips back to the eastern shore for moving odds and ends, cleaning, and pediatrician appointments, but now... we're pretty much settled in. Yeah there are a few boxes that still need to be finished, but we're close.
I know, I know ... it's a speedy update for a speedy last month or so. Soren is 7 weeks old today and a totally sweet guy. Going thru a bit of a fussy stage (for him), but I also understand this is a common time for growth spurts. He sleeps well, eats well, is growing like a weed ... we are blessed. I am also registered for fall classes (just 2 this time around ... statistics and career development) and one of my next projects is to find child care for him and Maggie on Wednesdays.
It's a wild wild time... I guess the really big stuff is done, but I'm still hanging on for dear life... :)
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
7.28.2011
11.07.2010
a sweet pastor's wife can only take so much...
I wish I could blame hormones and just UNLEASH my mouth in a foul-mouthed rage.
I wish I didn't hold such high standards for myself and could be a right-out ass and just tell some of these fools off. Darn faith, I take it's expectations of how I live pretty seriously...
I wish it wouldn't reflect on Tim negatively if I actually did take one of these aforementioned fools aside and tell them where to go and how to get there. (It would, of course, which my dear sweet husband does NOT need.)
I wish I could have a voice as a member of a congregation. Trust me, it would take a pretty special congregation to let a pastor's spouse have a voice and realize it did not equal their pastor.
I wish people would stop making it their goal to complain constantly to my husband. These are people who very often do nothing to help out around the church or do anything for the next generation of members, but they are there ... and they ALWAYS have a negative complaint on their lips. They never have anything good to say, and they never offer any real solutions. They just DUMP. (Fitting.)
I wish people would be part of the solution instead of part of the problem. Give it a try some time, a-holes, you might find you like it!
I wish I could really just shrug things off. You know, not care. To a point, I can ... but these offenders ... these *repeat* offenders ... make it so close to impossible. My blood pressure spikes when I encounter them. My skin will never be that thick and in a church (of all places) I don't think it should have to be...
I wish people would hold themselves up to a higher standard. Perhaps - inspired by their faith in a compassionate and loving God - they would actually practice grace and forgiveness and occasionally decide to take the high road. Occasionally pick their battles. Occasionally shut their damn mouths.
And lastly - for now - I wish I could be more forgiving and diplomatic. Luckily, I usually I am. Or at least I know when I need to walk away. But I also need this journal to be a safe place for me to dump and let off some of the steam.
(Pretty sad how these tags often go together for me.)
I wish I didn't hold such high standards for myself and could be a right-out ass and just tell some of these fools off. Darn faith, I take it's expectations of how I live pretty seriously...
I wish it wouldn't reflect on Tim negatively if I actually did take one of these aforementioned fools aside and tell them where to go and how to get there. (It would, of course, which my dear sweet husband does NOT need.)
I wish I could have a voice as a member of a congregation. Trust me, it would take a pretty special congregation to let a pastor's spouse have a voice and realize it did not equal their pastor.
I wish people would stop making it their goal to complain constantly to my husband. These are people who very often do nothing to help out around the church or do anything for the next generation of members, but they are there ... and they ALWAYS have a negative complaint on their lips. They never have anything good to say, and they never offer any real solutions. They just DUMP. (Fitting.)
I wish people would be part of the solution instead of part of the problem. Give it a try some time, a-holes, you might find you like it!
I wish I could really just shrug things off. You know, not care. To a point, I can ... but these offenders ... these *repeat* offenders ... make it so close to impossible. My blood pressure spikes when I encounter them. My skin will never be that thick and in a church (of all places) I don't think it should have to be...
I wish people would hold themselves up to a higher standard. Perhaps - inspired by their faith in a compassionate and loving God - they would actually practice grace and forgiveness and occasionally decide to take the high road. Occasionally pick their battles. Occasionally shut their damn mouths.
And lastly - for now - I wish I could be more forgiving and diplomatic. Luckily, I usually I am. Or at least I know when I need to walk away. But I also need this journal to be a safe place for me to dump and let off some of the steam.
(Pretty sad how these tags often go together for me.)
6.02.2010
wherein i am entitled and bitchy...
I hate to log in to write about feeling sorry for myself, but to some degree, I am today. *sigh* I look at my life and I do see blessings beyond measure ... but lately things just seem so damn difficult to stay on top of.
It's the... money issue. Again. Rearing it's ugly head. It never really goes away. I can ignore it for a spell here and there, but it's always looming. I am always feeling pulled in a million different directions and there are no easy answers. Yes, I am home with my daughter and have been since her birth, which has been such a joy. But it also has been a financial decision. Out here, childcare is SO expensive for one child (let alone two... more about that later *grin*) that nothing I could find for part-time work really could justify paying for childcare. That is, what I would have earned would just about cover the costs of childcare. This would not help us.
So I look at our budget/expenses/what goes out vs. what goes in, and while we can certainly tighten up in some areas, we're certainly not running around living a life of extravagance. We eat out a little too often. We probably don't need netflix. We fill up our cars regularly because we need to drive places. But these are the "big ticket" things we face monthly:
- 2 car payments (3 more months until we're down to 1! whoo!),
- internet/phones (Verizon owns our souls),
- a lump sum of utilities to our landlords (who are probably losing money on us),
- auto insurance,
- two of Tim's undergrad loans,
- and the never-ending effort of paying down our credit cards.
I think that's it - with occasional deductibles for our insurance. We're not even paying rent right now due to our swanky living setup (which will not last forever) ... but what happens when we need to start doing that again? This house is going to sell eventually, and we're going to need to be looking for housing. We rented a 2 bedroom duplex in town before we moved out to the country for about $900/mo. Do-able on 2 full time incomes. On one modest pastor's income? Not so much. (My entry level social services income was modest too, don't get me wrong, but together, it was doable).
I'm not saying I can't make adjustments to what we spend, but some things in our budget are just kind of set. Right now, everything just seems like a big expense. I am in school full time (pretty much straight up on federal loans, buying my books out of pocket) and I am a mom. I really don't see how I can squeeze a job into this as well. Because then childcare has to be factored in (no relatives near enough to drop off Maggs with) and how does school happen? All I qualify for right now are jobs that have very little earning potential. I want to get this degree so I can do what I feel called to do AND actually work in a field where I can earn a little bit more than minimum wage!
This is where I get all bitchy and entitled (you know, like the kind of people who drive me nuts). We live in a wealthy area; one of the wealthiest counties in MD (which, in turn, is one of the wealthier states in the good old US of A). Don't get me wrong - there are poor folks. There is a lot of disparity between the wealthy and the poor in this county. My husband is a pastor of a church where some people have way too much money. My husband works his ass off and is struggling with his health due to how much he invests in our church. He never got into the ministry thinking, "Ahh, here's where I'll make my millions!" (that would be ridiculous), but I just wish that 1) they would pay him with the costs of living in this county in mind, and 2) that he would be paid close to what synod guidelines suggest. They do not. They up it a little a bit annually (which I am thankful for, as many employers have not been able to do this during our country's economic woes), but it is nowhere close to what the synod asks congregations to compensate their pastors. So being bitchy and entitled and all, I just wish they would pay him a little more realistically. It would make a major difference in our lives and allow us to get out from under some of our pile of debt (which never gets much smaller for very long). If he was a single guy (without the family in tow), he would still have a lot of these expenses. Maybe one less car, less gasoline or groceries, but ... c'mon. Throw us a frickin' bone here...
What triggered all this pity and "whaa whaa, I am a victim of circumstance"? Well, there are some modestly big expenses looming that I am trying to be aware of:
- air conditioning in my car (going without does not work for MD summers!)
- visit to MI and back this summer (planning to do this in my currently a/c -less car). We'll be with family most of the time so it won't be extravagantly costly, but things always do come up...
- needing to get our taxes done (prep can be a little costly, but we have to have the help as our taxes are always screwy) sometime this summer/early fall
- a major increase in deductibles due to ... (well, *grin* again, but I'll get to that)...
So yeah. Feeling trapped. Not very empowered at all at the moment.
In hopes of dealing with my stress about all this, 1) I am blogging to get it off my chest, and 2) I think I will make a list of things I am thankful for:
- seeing Tim today, though he was busy. Maggie always benefits from seeing Daddy midday.
- living in a beautiful rent-free apartment. It won't be forever, but I am thankful we have it now.
- being home with my girl,
- being in the right academic program (even though it will take too long and cost way too much money, it totally is the right program),
- not having much morning sickness at all this time around, b/c
- oh yeah! I'm totes preggers. :) :) :)
(I will interrupt my list to let you know I have been to my OB/GYN/MW once so far, and that we think I am about 8 weeks along. Feeling really good for the most part, though I am tired many days. Haven't had a sonogram yet but my EDD - calculated by myself - would put me due somewhere around early-mid January 2011! Sonogram will be in about 3.5 weeks or so. Very excited, though much more aware of the work involved in having kids now, so it's a different kind of emotion! I will likely get thru my fall semester just fine and then take off the Spring '11 term while we adjust to life with 2 critters.)
Also thankful for
- good leads on finding a counselor (an "on-going pre-req" for my program),
- having a summer course under my belt for this term,
- my darling (learning all the time, growing like a weed, goofball of a) daughter,
- that she's napping right now and I can chill, :)
- growing friendships (it has taken a while, but it is happening - what a joy!),
- good health,
- my family,
- feeling good! (Yeah, I already mentioned this, but it would be a million times worse if I was constantly nauseated and had to keep my head in the toilet 24/7!)
You know, making those "thankfulness lists" really does help my perspective. I should try to do it more often!
It's the... money issue. Again. Rearing it's ugly head. It never really goes away. I can ignore it for a spell here and there, but it's always looming. I am always feeling pulled in a million different directions and there are no easy answers. Yes, I am home with my daughter and have been since her birth, which has been such a joy. But it also has been a financial decision. Out here, childcare is SO expensive for one child (let alone two... more about that later *grin*) that nothing I could find for part-time work really could justify paying for childcare. That is, what I would have earned would just about cover the costs of childcare. This would not help us.
So I look at our budget/expenses/what goes out vs. what goes in, and while we can certainly tighten up in some areas, we're certainly not running around living a life of extravagance. We eat out a little too often. We probably don't need netflix. We fill up our cars regularly because we need to drive places. But these are the "big ticket" things we face monthly:
- 2 car payments (3 more months until we're down to 1! whoo!),
- internet/phones (Verizon owns our souls),
- a lump sum of utilities to our landlords (who are probably losing money on us),
- auto insurance,
- two of Tim's undergrad loans,
- and the never-ending effort of paying down our credit cards.
I think that's it - with occasional deductibles for our insurance. We're not even paying rent right now due to our swanky living setup (which will not last forever) ... but what happens when we need to start doing that again? This house is going to sell eventually, and we're going to need to be looking for housing. We rented a 2 bedroom duplex in town before we moved out to the country for about $900/mo. Do-able on 2 full time incomes. On one modest pastor's income? Not so much. (My entry level social services income was modest too, don't get me wrong, but together, it was doable).
I'm not saying I can't make adjustments to what we spend, but some things in our budget are just kind of set. Right now, everything just seems like a big expense. I am in school full time (pretty much straight up on federal loans, buying my books out of pocket) and I am a mom. I really don't see how I can squeeze a job into this as well. Because then childcare has to be factored in (no relatives near enough to drop off Maggs with) and how does school happen? All I qualify for right now are jobs that have very little earning potential. I want to get this degree so I can do what I feel called to do AND actually work in a field where I can earn a little bit more than minimum wage!
This is where I get all bitchy and entitled (you know, like the kind of people who drive me nuts). We live in a wealthy area; one of the wealthiest counties in MD (which, in turn, is one of the wealthier states in the good old US of A). Don't get me wrong - there are poor folks. There is a lot of disparity between the wealthy and the poor in this county. My husband is a pastor of a church where some people have way too much money. My husband works his ass off and is struggling with his health due to how much he invests in our church. He never got into the ministry thinking, "Ahh, here's where I'll make my millions!" (that would be ridiculous), but I just wish that 1) they would pay him with the costs of living in this county in mind, and 2) that he would be paid close to what synod guidelines suggest. They do not. They up it a little a bit annually (which I am thankful for, as many employers have not been able to do this during our country's economic woes), but it is nowhere close to what the synod asks congregations to compensate their pastors. So being bitchy and entitled and all, I just wish they would pay him a little more realistically. It would make a major difference in our lives and allow us to get out from under some of our pile of debt (which never gets much smaller for very long). If he was a single guy (without the family in tow), he would still have a lot of these expenses. Maybe one less car, less gasoline or groceries, but ... c'mon. Throw us a frickin' bone here...
What triggered all this pity and "whaa whaa, I am a victim of circumstance"? Well, there are some modestly big expenses looming that I am trying to be aware of:
- air conditioning in my car (going without does not work for MD summers!)
- visit to MI and back this summer (planning to do this in my currently a/c -less car). We'll be with family most of the time so it won't be extravagantly costly, but things always do come up...
- needing to get our taxes done (prep can be a little costly, but we have to have the help as our taxes are always screwy) sometime this summer/early fall
- a major increase in deductibles due to ... (well, *grin* again, but I'll get to that)...
So yeah. Feeling trapped. Not very empowered at all at the moment.
In hopes of dealing with my stress about all this, 1) I am blogging to get it off my chest, and 2) I think I will make a list of things I am thankful for:
- seeing Tim today, though he was busy. Maggie always benefits from seeing Daddy midday.
- living in a beautiful rent-free apartment. It won't be forever, but I am thankful we have it now.
- being home with my girl,
- being in the right academic program (even though it will take too long and cost way too much money, it totally is the right program),
- not having much morning sickness at all this time around, b/c
- oh yeah! I'm totes preggers. :) :) :)
(I will interrupt my list to let you know I have been to my OB/GYN/MW once so far, and that we think I am about 8 weeks along. Feeling really good for the most part, though I am tired many days. Haven't had a sonogram yet but my EDD - calculated by myself - would put me due somewhere around early-mid January 2011! Sonogram will be in about 3.5 weeks or so. Very excited, though much more aware of the work involved in having kids now, so it's a different kind of emotion! I will likely get thru my fall semester just fine and then take off the Spring '11 term while we adjust to life with 2 critters.)
Also thankful for
- good leads on finding a counselor (an "on-going pre-req" for my program),
- having a summer course under my belt for this term,
- my darling (learning all the time, growing like a weed, goofball of a) daughter,
- that she's napping right now and I can chill, :)
- growing friendships (it has taken a while, but it is happening - what a joy!),
- good health,
- my family,
- feeling good! (Yeah, I already mentioned this, but it would be a million times worse if I was constantly nauseated and had to keep my head in the toilet 24/7!)
You know, making those "thankfulness lists" really does help my perspective. I should try to do it more often!
11.16.2009
tidbits about today
Today started with my girl letting herself in and plodding her way into my room and greeting me at my bedside, patting my hands which were curled up in front of me. Mind you, Tim had been up with her for 20-30 minutes already, and she had just gotten away from what they were doing together, but what fun it was to see her like, "Care to join us, mama?" :)
I scooped her up into bed and sat up with her and after a quick initial cuddle, Maggie started tugging my shirt and trying to lift it up - old nursing signals! She stopped nursing about 2 months ago. (Hard to believe it's already been that long!) She sized me up, copped a feel, leaned in toward me like she wanted to nurse ... but then, got distracted my belly button. Oh that funny belly button, makes her laugh every time. It was interesting though ... that was the first time she's really showed any interest/curiosity about nursing since she stopped. I asked her, "Are you remembering nursing? I don't have any milk for you anymore!" (Coincidently, she did see little 2mo Nicholas, at church, nursing yesterday, and she watched with interest. I wonder if that sparked her memory or something? Perhaps!)
Maggie is really starting to look at pictures more and pay attention to faces/content. This morning she came across the salad spinner box, which is sitting in the same place it always sits, but she noticed it had a picture of greens/carrots/tomatoes with the spinner. She starts smacking her lips together and pointing, saying, "Umma umma umma!" Obviously, salad is good stuff! My sweet little vegetarian. ;)
Also along the lines of noticing what is in pictures, she got out the church directory. On the cover is a big old picture of our church. "Da da da!" she announced. Correct, little one, that's where we always go to see Daddy. I opened it to a picture of the sanctuary and she just got the giggles. She really doeslike tromping around in the sanctuary. Tim pointed out that that is probably the angle she is used to seeing from the choir loft (where we sit at church). Maybe that church drives me and Tim nuts some days, but our girlie has good impressions and associations of it. :)
Anyhow, just some fun observations. She is really making so many connections about things these days. We also spent some fun time at the park today because it is a gloriously sunny November day. You don't get a ton of these, so we got to playin'!
Just gorgeous!
I scooped her up into bed and sat up with her and after a quick initial cuddle, Maggie started tugging my shirt and trying to lift it up - old nursing signals! She stopped nursing about 2 months ago. (Hard to believe it's already been that long!) She sized me up, copped a feel, leaned in toward me like she wanted to nurse ... but then, got distracted my belly button. Oh that funny belly button, makes her laugh every time. It was interesting though ... that was the first time she's really showed any interest/curiosity about nursing since she stopped. I asked her, "Are you remembering nursing? I don't have any milk for you anymore!" (Coincidently, she did see little 2mo Nicholas, at church, nursing yesterday, and she watched with interest. I wonder if that sparked her memory or something? Perhaps!)
Maggie is really starting to look at pictures more and pay attention to faces/content. This morning she came across the salad spinner box, which is sitting in the same place it always sits, but she noticed it had a picture of greens/carrots/tomatoes with the spinner. She starts smacking her lips together and pointing, saying, "Umma umma umma!" Obviously, salad is good stuff! My sweet little vegetarian. ;)
Also along the lines of noticing what is in pictures, she got out the church directory. On the cover is a big old picture of our church. "Da da da!" she announced. Correct, little one, that's where we always go to see Daddy. I opened it to a picture of the sanctuary and she just got the giggles. She really doeslike tromping around in the sanctuary. Tim pointed out that that is probably the angle she is used to seeing from the choir loft (where we sit at church). Maybe that church drives me and Tim nuts some days, but our girlie has good impressions and associations of it. :)
Anyhow, just some fun observations. She is really making so many connections about things these days. We also spent some fun time at the park today because it is a gloriously sunny November day. You don't get a ton of these, so we got to playin'!
Just gorgeous!
11.09.2009
worn out ... by my kid, by life
Why is my daughter wearing me out so much these days??
Maggie tends to be a very sweet girl and we normally have something of a mommy-daughter groove. Sure, there are skips in the groove sometimes - we have a little meltdown or a little fuss session - but things quickly return to normal.
But the last few days have just been a little more intense than usual. And I really think it's not even that she is being that difficult. It's something else that devastates me and makes me sick to my stomach. It's just me feeling like the disapproval of people who think I can't handle her. At church the other day, Maggie was a little, oh... spunkier than usual. She is usually VERY good and handles herself very well during the hour-long worship services. We're up in the choir loft and usually she'll play and snack - and generally do quite well. Any sounds she makes are happy and chirpy ones. Well, yesterday, she was NOT horrid. She was a little on the fussy side during the anthem (during which I was singing, so I couldn't take her downstairs). She managed to drop a stacking cup from the loft and it landed behind the last row of worshipers, and apparently a few people noticed. Right before communion, she started fussing, so I took her downstairs (as sound from the choir loft amplifies). I let her stomp around downstairs and we went back up after communion. And she got a little fussy again during the very last hymm. But church ended right after that.
Problem solved? You would think so. That is, if you were a rational, empathetic, grace-filled person. But apparently someone felt the need to complain to my husband - the PASTOR who (understandably) does NOT wrangle his daughter during worship - as they exited the sanctuary. Normally people shake hands with the pastor, share any pertinent information that they need to share with him. Apparently, it was pertinent for this person to let him know his daughter was "disruptive" and "distracting." (Actually, I probably shouldn't throw up quotations since I did not witness this encounter.) Well, yes. She was more disruptive than usual. But we handled things the best we could.
Obviously Tim can't do anything about this DURING worship. So this comment was meant for me to know. As in, "handle your kid better." I just get so frustrated when people can't deal with a child being a child. Don't get me wrong - I'm NOT going to let my kid go absolutely ape-shit and just shrug and say, "Ahh, how cute. My kid is being a kid!" But for heaven's sake, most people understand that children are not 100% shiny happy giggly cute all.the.time. And even if they are annoyed or "distracted" by one that is being momentarily fussy, they're not USUALLY going to confront your spouse or be an ASS about it. Proper etiquette might involve any of the following:
1) grinning and bearing it,
2) raising your eyebrows and smiling at your neighbor,
3) remembering that kids are kids,
4) remembering that most women have found themselves in this situation,
and maybe even
4) offering Mom a sympathetic comment OR even consider lending a hand.
I just don't like feeling like people think I'm a moron who can't handle my child. Most of the time I do a pretty darn good job with her. And most of the time she too is a pretty darn good kid. I am not a slacker idiot who ignores her kid and needs someone to tell my husband that the baby was unruly. Yeah, I was there. I seem to remember that.
Maybe the question isn't "why is my daughter wearing me out so much these days?" but more along the lines of "Why are people so wrapped up in themselves that they can't put themselves in someone elses shoes for a minute, and speak a word of peace instead putting EVEN MORE negativity out into the world?" I suppose the first question is more concise, but the 2nd one is the one that keeps me up at night. Especially when it comes to people of faith who supposedly want to live a good and righteous life.
I know that I don't have to please the masses, and it's something I don't worry about nearly as much as I used to, but it still bothers me when people go out of their way to let you know they disapprove. Mind you, these are usually the people who never ever offer a kindly word, even when there are plenty of opportunities to do so.
I just wish people were more willing to lend a hand, lend support, or ... learn to just shut their damn mouths. Sometimes THAT is the best thing someone can do.
Maggie tends to be a very sweet girl and we normally have something of a mommy-daughter groove. Sure, there are skips in the groove sometimes - we have a little meltdown or a little fuss session - but things quickly return to normal.
But the last few days have just been a little more intense than usual. And I really think it's not even that she is being that difficult. It's something else that devastates me and makes me sick to my stomach. It's just me feeling like the disapproval of people who think I can't handle her. At church the other day, Maggie was a little, oh... spunkier than usual. She is usually VERY good and handles herself very well during the hour-long worship services. We're up in the choir loft and usually she'll play and snack - and generally do quite well. Any sounds she makes are happy and chirpy ones. Well, yesterday, she was NOT horrid. She was a little on the fussy side during the anthem (during which I was singing, so I couldn't take her downstairs). She managed to drop a stacking cup from the loft and it landed behind the last row of worshipers, and apparently a few people noticed. Right before communion, she started fussing, so I took her downstairs (as sound from the choir loft amplifies). I let her stomp around downstairs and we went back up after communion. And she got a little fussy again during the very last hymm. But church ended right after that.
Problem solved? You would think so. That is, if you were a rational, empathetic, grace-filled person. But apparently someone felt the need to complain to my husband - the PASTOR who (understandably) does NOT wrangle his daughter during worship - as they exited the sanctuary. Normally people shake hands with the pastor, share any pertinent information that they need to share with him. Apparently, it was pertinent for this person to let him know his daughter was "disruptive" and "distracting." (Actually, I probably shouldn't throw up quotations since I did not witness this encounter.) Well, yes. She was more disruptive than usual. But we handled things the best we could.
Obviously Tim can't do anything about this DURING worship. So this comment was meant for me to know. As in, "handle your kid better." I just get so frustrated when people can't deal with a child being a child. Don't get me wrong - I'm NOT going to let my kid go absolutely ape-shit and just shrug and say, "Ahh, how cute. My kid is being a kid!" But for heaven's sake, most people understand that children are not 100% shiny happy giggly cute all.the.time. And even if they are annoyed or "distracted" by one that is being momentarily fussy, they're not USUALLY going to confront your spouse or be an ASS about it. Proper etiquette might involve any of the following:
1) grinning and bearing it,
2) raising your eyebrows and smiling at your neighbor,
3) remembering that kids are kids,
4) remembering that most women have found themselves in this situation,
and maybe even
4) offering Mom a sympathetic comment OR even consider lending a hand.
I just don't like feeling like people think I'm a moron who can't handle my child. Most of the time I do a pretty darn good job with her. And most of the time she too is a pretty darn good kid. I am not a slacker idiot who ignores her kid and needs someone to tell my husband that the baby was unruly. Yeah, I was there. I seem to remember that.
Maybe the question isn't "why is my daughter wearing me out so much these days?" but more along the lines of "Why are people so wrapped up in themselves that they can't put themselves in someone elses shoes for a minute, and speak a word of peace instead putting EVEN MORE negativity out into the world?" I suppose the first question is more concise, but the 2nd one is the one that keeps me up at night. Especially when it comes to people of faith who supposedly want to live a good and righteous life.
I know that I don't have to please the masses, and it's something I don't worry about nearly as much as I used to, but it still bothers me when people go out of their way to let you know they disapprove. Mind you, these are usually the people who never ever offer a kindly word, even when there are plenty of opportunities to do so.
I just wish people were more willing to lend a hand, lend support, or ... learn to just shut their damn mouths. Sometimes THAT is the best thing someone can do.
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