I wish I could blame hormones and just UNLEASH my mouth in a foul-mouthed rage.
I wish I didn't hold such high standards for myself and could be a right-out ass and just tell some of these fools off. Darn faith, I take it's expectations of how I live pretty seriously...
I wish it wouldn't reflect on Tim negatively if I actually did take one of these aforementioned fools aside and tell them where to go and how to get there. (It would, of course, which my dear sweet husband does NOT need.)
I wish I could have a voice as a member of a congregation. Trust me, it would take a pretty special congregation to let a pastor's spouse have a voice and realize it did not equal their pastor.
I wish people would stop making it their goal to complain constantly to my husband. These are people who very often do nothing to help out around the church or do anything for the next generation of members, but they are there ... and they ALWAYS have a negative complaint on their lips. They never have anything good to say, and they never offer any real solutions. They just DUMP. (Fitting.)
I wish people would be part of the solution instead of part of the problem. Give it a try some time, a-holes, you might find you like it!
I wish I could really just shrug things off. You know, not care. To a point, I can ... but these offenders ... these *repeat* offenders ... make it so close to impossible. My blood pressure spikes when I encounter them. My skin will never be that thick and in a church (of all places) I don't think it should have to be...
I wish people would hold themselves up to a higher standard. Perhaps - inspired by their faith in a compassionate and loving God - they would actually practice grace and forgiveness and occasionally decide to take the high road. Occasionally pick their battles. Occasionally shut their damn mouths.
And lastly - for now - I wish I could be more forgiving and diplomatic. Luckily, I usually I am. Or at least I know when I need to walk away. But I also need this journal to be a safe place for me to dump and let off some of the steam.
(Pretty sad how these tags often go together for me.)
Showing posts with label woe is me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label woe is me. Show all posts
9.29.2010
good news/bad news
The good news is ... all of our stuff is out of Trappe and that dwelling is nice and clean. Not a professional job, but as good as I can do.
The bad news is ... we still have half of it in our cars and the other half of it has not a found a home (yet?) in our new apartment. We are living out of our cars and in a pigsty. Classy. My car is never pristine, but this is ridiculous.
It's stressful. I fancy myself someone who can live pretty simply and not sweat the small stuff, but right now it all feels kind of daunting and big. When we decided to live in this apartment, I didn't think it was that small. But now, the daunting truth is that it is.
I am home with Maggie so I feel like I should be able to have this all whipped into shape by now. But it is slooooooow. So very slow. Maggie is 2 and busy and doesn't love to see Mommy put things up and out of her reach. I try to do some homework and reading while Maggie sleeps.
Alas. A few more boxes were broken down today so that may be our little triumph.
The good news is ... I get a little "break" tomorrow (from this mess, from tripping over boxes and searching for space where this is none) with a full day of classes. Hee hee - a "break." So to speak. Ah well, in a sense, it is still kind of "me" time since it is something that is focused on my future and very important to me.
The bad news is ... I don't feel ready for school. The semester is rushing onward at a furious pace and I want it to stay in that "first day of class" mentality where nothing is really expected yet. My papers are done. My reading isn't. I can't find which chapter I was assigned for my Human Development class. It makes me feel all disorganized and dumb.
Alas. I suppose I will survive not being fully prepared though.
(Might have a little time to do some reading between classes.)
After my full day, we're planning a little getaway to Allentown to hang with Tim's sister, Amy and her husband and her baby girl for the first part of our weekend. It should be nice. They're taking Maggie's crib for storage/use since we definitely don't have room for that anywhere. We thought they might be able to take the couch too, but we're back to not having a place for the couch to go (not that it was ever guaranteed, but we were feeling optimistic).
Anyone want a couch? Has a nice hide-a-bed.
Oh yeah - and Maggie is still up for no good reason at all. This is not the norm at all. There is not much good news in that. I pray she won't be a beast for Tim and Miss Julie tomorrow. I hope (so tentative, I don't even want to say it) that she is quieting down. We shall see.
Anyway, I am very rambly. It's late and I have to be up early for my "break." Sadly, thus far, I never get enough sleep in this new place due to the morning traffic noise.
The bad news is ... we still have half of it in our cars and the other half of it has not a found a home (yet?) in our new apartment. We are living out of our cars and in a pigsty. Classy. My car is never pristine, but this is ridiculous.
It's stressful. I fancy myself someone who can live pretty simply and not sweat the small stuff, but right now it all feels kind of daunting and big. When we decided to live in this apartment, I didn't think it was that small. But now, the daunting truth is that it is.
I am home with Maggie so I feel like I should be able to have this all whipped into shape by now. But it is slooooooow. So very slow. Maggie is 2 and busy and doesn't love to see Mommy put things up and out of her reach. I try to do some homework and reading while Maggie sleeps.
Alas. A few more boxes were broken down today so that may be our little triumph.
The good news is ... I get a little "break" tomorrow (from this mess, from tripping over boxes and searching for space where this is none) with a full day of classes. Hee hee - a "break." So to speak. Ah well, in a sense, it is still kind of "me" time since it is something that is focused on my future and very important to me.
The bad news is ... I don't feel ready for school. The semester is rushing onward at a furious pace and I want it to stay in that "first day of class" mentality where nothing is really expected yet. My papers are done. My reading isn't. I can't find which chapter I was assigned for my Human Development class. It makes me feel all disorganized and dumb.
Alas. I suppose I will survive not being fully prepared though.
(Might have a little time to do some reading between classes.)
After my full day, we're planning a little getaway to Allentown to hang with Tim's sister, Amy and her husband and her baby girl for the first part of our weekend. It should be nice. They're taking Maggie's crib for storage/use since we definitely don't have room for that anywhere. We thought they might be able to take the couch too, but we're back to not having a place for the couch to go (not that it was ever guaranteed, but we were feeling optimistic).
Anyone want a couch? Has a nice hide-a-bed.
Oh yeah - and Maggie is still up for no good reason at all. This is not the norm at all. There is not much good news in that. I pray she won't be a beast for Tim and Miss Julie tomorrow. I hope (so tentative, I don't even want to say it) that she is quieting down. We shall see.
Anyway, I am very rambly. It's late and I have to be up early for my "break." Sadly, thus far, I never get enough sleep in this new place due to the morning traffic noise.
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