1.18.2011
maggieisms #2
Maggie (as Tim spins Maggie around on her belly, whilst on the top of his head): I'm Jesus! I'm JESUS!!!
1.15.2011
a weird day... with weird energy
If I hadn't ended the pregnancy and lost the baby we call Clover, today would be the due date we were originally given: January 15, 2011. I realized this about mid-day, and thought to myself how I ought to do something special to commemorate her too-short little life (inside me). I'm not sure what I was really thinking of, but alas, all I did was bring it up on facebook - which brought a little recognition, a little discomfort but a little comfort, and a little sympathy...
By the time Maggie went down for her nap after lunch, I had a list of things I needed to get done. I was taking trash out, starting laundry, folding laundry, running back to the grocery store, getting a refund, picking up mail, paying bills, and taking all our Christmas stuff and my stuff from Dad's place out to our storage space, and hoisting ungodly boxes around to make everything fit. I got home and finished up the laundry and started cooking a new and somewhat challenging new Indian recipe for dinner. Talk about a burst of energy. After dinner, I did collapse on the couch for a bit and lose all that wildness, but then got back up and finished a buttload of dishes (which Tim was kind enough to start on) and am now ... relaxing.
So that last burst of energy left me in a weird space. Unsettled. Waiting. And my brain started cranking. And I thought, who knows ... had things worked out with the last pregnancy, had things progressed normally, if I was 9 months pregnant today instead of 4.5 months ... I might have indeed been nesting my brains out today. Getting ready to welcome a new life into our home. Scurrying around with ridiculous energy, trying to get things ready or just so ... so I could welcome that new baby.
I know it doesn't make sense - I know there's no metaphysical "reason" that I would "nest" today in connection with my lost baby - but when I finally stopped and sat myself down and thought - this recognition just kind of clicked into place.
It just somehow seemed very fitting.
By the time Maggie went down for her nap after lunch, I had a list of things I needed to get done. I was taking trash out, starting laundry, folding laundry, running back to the grocery store, getting a refund, picking up mail, paying bills, and taking all our Christmas stuff and my stuff from Dad's place out to our storage space, and hoisting ungodly boxes around to make everything fit. I got home and finished up the laundry and started cooking a new and somewhat challenging new Indian recipe for dinner. Talk about a burst of energy. After dinner, I did collapse on the couch for a bit and lose all that wildness, but then got back up and finished a buttload of dishes (which Tim was kind enough to start on) and am now ... relaxing.
So that last burst of energy left me in a weird space. Unsettled. Waiting. And my brain started cranking. And I thought, who knows ... had things worked out with the last pregnancy, had things progressed normally, if I was 9 months pregnant today instead of 4.5 months ... I might have indeed been nesting my brains out today. Getting ready to welcome a new life into our home. Scurrying around with ridiculous energy, trying to get things ready or just so ... so I could welcome that new baby.
I know it doesn't make sense - I know there's no metaphysical "reason" that I would "nest" today in connection with my lost baby - but when I finally stopped and sat myself down and thought - this recognition just kind of clicked into place.
It just somehow seemed very fitting.
1.13.2011
maggie-isms #1
Because she is just a little ball of hilarity these days - and I want to remember how much she makes me laugh. :)
Maggie-isms!
Mama (noticing Maggie "working"): Maggie, did you go poop?
Maggie: Nope.
Mama (checking): You DID go poop! Yay!
Maggie: But I have more and MORE!
Maggie (while running over her doll with her toy stroller):
Excuse me, baby! EXCUSE ME!
Maggie (watching a movie where everyone is dancing, she jumps to her feet): I need to dance TOO!
Maggie (flipping through a cookbook): I lookin' for a cheesy taco!
Maggie (after bath): We clean our bodies, we clean our butts!
Maggie-isms!
Mama (noticing Maggie "working"): Maggie, did you go poop?
Maggie: Nope.
Mama (checking): You DID go poop! Yay!
Maggie: But I have more and MORE!
Maggie (while running over her doll with her toy stroller):
Excuse me, baby! EXCUSE ME!
Maggie (watching a movie where everyone is dancing, she jumps to her feet): I need to dance TOO!
Maggie (flipping through a cookbook): I lookin' for a cheesy taco!
Maggie (after bath): We clean our bodies, we clean our butts!
just like the 2nd kid ...
... to get the shaft, and not get a formal "announcement" in the blogosphere.
Yeah, we're pregnant. As of today, I'm about 21 weeks. :) I suppose that I hinted at it several entries ago, buuuuut ... I also haven't blogged in a good long spell either. Everyone on facebook knows! But yes, my apologies, little one. I too was my mama's second, so I should be more sensitive to the shaft that those born after the first tend to get, but for now, I'll just commiserate with you. I've been there. You're in good company. :)
Baby is due around 5/25 - sometime at the end of May, as the actual date keeps fluctuating a bit depending on the day of ultrasound. And I have had a number of those, due to our complications from last time. Thankfully though, everything looks *quite* normal this time. And today we got our first indication that baby may be a big one. At this point, my midwife said it must have had a little spurt because it was 14 oz. Babycenter.com says that belly fruit is normally 11-12 oz or so at this point. Yowza! Way to grow, baby. And, um, lay off the holiday eats, mama. ;)
To make my neglectfulness up to you, little one, I will now smatter your u/s images all over the internets. You're very welcome.
6 weeks - ain't nothin' but a blip thang, bay-by!
9 weeks - more like a peanut now
11 weeks - a lovely profile
13 weeks ... big stuff!
... And today, 1/13, at 21 weeks and about 14 oz! Bruiser!
We've had our nerves, for sure, but we're very excited. I have been feeling good - tired, but good. I blame the tired on the toddler. :) Blessings abound!
** Oh, and I'm not being an elusive jerk - we didn't find out the gender! We'll find out when babe makes it's debut in 18-19 weeks!
Yeah, we're pregnant. As of today, I'm about 21 weeks. :) I suppose that I hinted at it several entries ago, buuuuut ... I also haven't blogged in a good long spell either. Everyone on facebook knows! But yes, my apologies, little one. I too was my mama's second, so I should be more sensitive to the shaft that those born after the first tend to get, but for now, I'll just commiserate with you. I've been there. You're in good company. :)
Baby is due around 5/25 - sometime at the end of May, as the actual date keeps fluctuating a bit depending on the day of ultrasound. And I have had a number of those, due to our complications from last time. Thankfully though, everything looks *quite* normal this time. And today we got our first indication that baby may be a big one. At this point, my midwife said it must have had a little spurt because it was 14 oz. Babycenter.com says that belly fruit is normally 11-12 oz or so at this point. Yowza! Way to grow, baby. And, um, lay off the holiday eats, mama. ;)
To make my neglectfulness up to you, little one, I will now smatter your u/s images all over the internets. You're very welcome.
6 weeks - ain't nothin' but a blip thang, bay-by!
9 weeks - more like a peanut now
11 weeks - a lovely profile
13 weeks ... big stuff!
... And today, 1/13, at 21 weeks and about 14 oz! Bruiser!
We've had our nerves, for sure, but we're very excited. I have been feeling good - tired, but good. I blame the tired on the toddler. :) Blessings abound!
** Oh, and I'm not being an elusive jerk - we didn't find out the gender! We'll find out when babe makes it's debut in 18-19 weeks!
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