11.07.2010

a sweet pastor's wife can only take so much...

I wish I could blame hormones and just UNLEASH my mouth in a foul-mouthed rage.

I wish I didn't hold such high standards for myself and could be a right-out ass and just tell some of these fools off. Darn faith, I take it's expectations of how I live pretty seriously...

I wish it wouldn't reflect on Tim negatively if I actually did take one of these aforementioned fools aside and tell them where to go and how to get there. (It would, of course, which my dear sweet husband does NOT need.)

I wish I could have a voice as a member of a congregation. Trust me, it would take a pretty special congregation to let a pastor's spouse have a voice and realize it did not equal their pastor.

I wish people would stop making it their goal to complain constantly to my husband. These are people who very often do nothing to help out around the church or do anything for the next generation of members, but they are there ... and they ALWAYS have a negative complaint on their lips. They never have anything good to say, and they never offer any real solutions. They just DUMP. (Fitting.)

I wish people would be part of the solution instead of part of the problem. Give it a try some time, a-holes, you might find you like it!

I wish I could really just shrug things off. You know, not care. To a point, I can ... but these offenders ... these *repeat* offenders ... make it so close to impossible. My blood pressure spikes when I encounter them. My skin will never be that thick and in a church (of all places) I don't think it should have to be...

I wish people would hold themselves up to a higher standard. Perhaps - inspired by their faith in a compassionate and loving God - they would actually practice grace and forgiveness and occasionally decide to take the high road. Occasionally pick their battles. Occasionally shut their damn mouths.

And lastly - for now - I wish I could be more forgiving and diplomatic. Luckily, I usually I am. Or at least I know when I need to walk away. But I also need this journal to be a safe place for me to dump and let off some of the steam.




(Pretty sad how these tags often go together for me.)