breath of life

Oddly enough, this was our theme for our Lenten Taize worship tonight...

I say "oddly" because all day long, I have been quite short on breath. According to my midwife the other week (and Dr. O'brien, today) babers is likely in position, but keeps bouncing him or herself into my rib cage region and I find myself seriously short on breath from time to time. I remember this happening with Maggie, but when it first started happening this time, I found myself kind of spooked. I wasn't exerting myself or trying to do too much - I just couldn't breathe. If ever there was something to make you panic... and then exacerbate that panic ... not being able to BREATHE might just be it!

So mid-afternoon, I laid myself pregnant self down for a quick rest ... we'd been up in the night previously with a night-terroring Magdalena :( ... and though I still was short of breath, I found it was much easier to "catch it" when I slowed it waaaaaay down.

Breeeeathe in .... breeeeathe out. Repeat. Slowly.

It helped to calm me and get me what I needed and I even got to doze for a few and let go of the day for a bit.

When I woke up, I was feeling better. Calmer. Able to catch my breath. Maybe the babers shifted a bit while I slumbered, maybe my slowing things down made a difference. But then I got to thinking about how busy this life has been in the last few weeks. We've had a whirlwind of weeks with birthdays (Tim's and mine), visitors (my sister and her crew), homework/finals/projects, trips to the western shore, and just general busy-ness! Not to mention the daunting realization that babers is set to arrive in about 7 weeks or so. And that comes with a list of "to dos" - though less than we got in order for Maggs. But WOW. Not only is it hard to physically catch our breath at 8 months preggers, but life doesn't slow down for anyone!

So tonight at Taize, we heard the story of God breathing life into his creation and then Jesus breathing life and healing back into a child. And I was just struck ... that God not only created us, but promises to sustain us ... in a busy life, in a busy world, in busy people who are creating and sustaining life! I can't believe - God willing - how quickly that little life will be with us, in my arms... likely after I myself do some very labored breathing to get that little one from life on the inside to life on the outside!

Of course, I pray it will take several more weeks, as I have a semester to get through and I want our babe fully cooked, healthy, and ready to breathe on it's own. I also pray for my sisters-in-law, Megan and Amy, who are waiting on late little girls. They were both due 4/7 and their wait continues. Luckily they are healthy and their babes are healthy ... but they, too, are learning all about slowing down and waiting.

Breeeeeathe in, breeeeeathe out. Repeat. Slowly.

Slowly.